"For a wound to heal, you have to clean it out. Again, and again, and again. And this cleaning process stings. The cleaning of a wound hurts. Yes. Healing takes so much work. So much persistence. And so much patience. But every process has an end and an appointed term. Your healing will come… And like all created things, your worldly pain will die." — Yasmin Mogahed (via staininyourbrain)
The idea that men aren’t in touch with their feelings has always made me laugh. I doubt it’s just me, but like 99% of dudes I know are so in touch with their own feelings, only their own, that they cannot even see or acknowledge anyone else’s. Whenever I see posts saying that we need to teach men to open up more/get more in touch with their feelings I roll my eyes because what men need is NOT more focus on themselves, but on everyone else. My abuser was a Mr sensitive, most of the men I’ve been hurt by are. Please don’t let men who are in touch with their feelings fool you. They are often just as misogynistic and can also be as abusive. The only difference is that when you finally open up yourself not many people will believe you because “but he’s so sensitive.” Pay attention to if men concern themselves with anyone else or only their own feelings/themselves. Watch how they talk about any issues. Is it all about how they feel/think? Or is there any acknowledgement of what others go through too? This is a huge red flag that is really easy to miss, I certainly missed it with my ex
I know ive discussed it before but. blind sex positivity is counter productive. telling girls to have sex can be equally as harmful as telling girls to be ashamed of sex. especially 20+ year old women talking about “sex positivity” to 15, 16 year old girls. even if you mean well, it can be harmful
this sounds anti-feminist so let me rephrase. the normalization of female sexuality is so so so important and a huge step in the right direction when done correctly. in a perfect world nobody would be ashamed of their sexual history or their sex lives. but that’s not how it is, and when i was fourteen or fifteen, even sixteen, i was force fed this idea that sex was empowering, and it got me into sexual situations that were consensual but still traumatizing because i was too young and too unprepared to handle them. i am ashamed of it. i live with that shame still. sex positivity is important. it is vital. but putting “be a slut, do what you want” over pastel backgrounds and encouraging girls to be a Ho or whatever isn’t doing shit. we need to teach girls how to know when they’re ready and have knowledge of how to handle situations. we need to give girls a safe way to own their sexuality. we need to teach and guide girls to make safe and educated decisions about sex. we need to teach girls that while there is nothing wrong with having sex, there are repercussions. we need to fucking protect girls
